An Ode to Mentors

An article I read some time back made me think...about people who give, and give and give....
More specifically; about mentors in one's life.
Aristotle is said to have mentored Alexander the great
In Indian mythology; the greatest Mentor is said to be Lord Krishna to Arjuna.
It is said that these mentors were singly responsible for every success in lives of Arjuna and Alexander.

Mentoring today is taken very seriously by most educational institutions and organisations.  Even the monthly magazine of the organisation of professionals CPA Australia carries a story in every issue of the magazine and the focus is on mentors and mentees.
In Australia and USA; there are professional platfoms that link mentors to mentees.
Many professionals who have made it big often talk about "...giving back..." through a series of carefully orchestrated, planned business events and through structured mentorship programs.

My attempt today is to write about millions of mentors who just mentor without the rest of the world even getting a hint of it, some of the special qualities that make a mentor. I guess my focus is on people who participate in Life mentoring and not just career mentoring.

As I see it; the most special quality in a mentor is the ability to "give"
To give - time, expertise, advise, help, direction
The second crucial quality is - to be available when needed
All qualifications, all successes, all expertise comes to naught if a mentor does not posses these two qualities.
And overarching all this - is the inherent ability to understand where the mentee is coming from and always keeping the mentee's best interests at heart.

People often talk of king makers who are principally responsible for many moves in the corporate world.  What I am talking about is completely different - based on personal experience.
We have had so many mentors who came into our lives at various times and who made a crucial difference.  Some have remained with us to walk with us every now and then; others are not in our lives on a daily basis and have probably left us as they realise we have moved on.  It is indeed true that we managed to hang on to at least one piece of wisdom that each mentor left with us.

I often think of those one-liners which made a significant difference.
The most powerful one being, "do you see yourself doing this for the rest of your life...?"
And that one line changed the entire course of life for us.

I am trying here to list the contributions of various mentors in our life; needless to say the effect they have had in our life has been phenomenal.

1. These mentors have walked with us through some tough phases of life and not just one's career
2. They have always been available - at even short notice sometimes - to help with feedback on a resume or assistance with drafting an important letter/ proposal
3. They have helped us to start at a new work place and settle in rather quickly by continuous support and sharing of knowledge
4. They have always spared the time when we wanted to toss a few ideas about Life and career plans for the next 5 years
5. They have never hesitated to share everything that they know - and shared their life stories with us enabling learning from their experiences
6. They have provided us with sources of information on subjects where they did not possess expertise
7. The mentors have always operated on the principle of abundance "there is enough space and resources and opportunities for everyone in this world...." and therefore have never felt threatened by sharing the best they can with us
8. Very often, a gentle nudge was all one needed - and they have provided us with helpful hints, nudges to see a situation differently
9. Our mentors have always been available to sit with us and weigh pros and cons of any major decision - at all times maintaining an objective neutral approach, allowing us to choose the best option suitable to our circumstances and comfort
10 Most importantly, our mentors have never hesitated to share their fears about consequences of certain choices we were making - thereby providing us a safe environment to re-assess situations, options and decisions
11. These were people who never lost hope and always helped us see something beyond what seemed like a set back - Their approach to creative/ lateral thinking came from complete concern for us and not just from reading Edward de Bono
12. And finally they were always ready to celebrate a success with us and wish us more of it

To all our mentors - we send you our gratitude.

Thank you for reiterating our own belief that every change can be re-visited
every move can be reassessed, and no decision is ever written in stone.
Thank you for the trust you gave us to talk to you and share without being judged.
Thank you most importantly for giving ....

Thanks to you;
We imbibe all the qualities we have observed in our mentors
and dont hesitate to be a guide/ mentor when we are approached.

PS - this is the article that made me think..
http://www.thehindu.com/life-and-style/metroplus/article2683955.ece

Dear Sir Paul McCartney & Stella McCartney, pack enough food if you HAVE to fly Qantas...

What's with Qantas and their inability to provide a proper meal for vegetarians?

And Qantas - please understand
Vegetarian does not mean "small tummy"
It does not mean "ah yes, just a lettuce wrap and an apple for a snack"
it does not mean "just an apple, orange juice and wheat bix with milk for breakfast"
And I dont even want to go into lunch or dinner...

What makes this so hard for you...?

Vegetarians also need a serving of protein, some carbs and some veggies/ fruit
Exactly the same requirements as a meat eater.
And is it so hard to source this kind of a vegetarian combo..?
Aw Come on Qantas get your act together....

Why is it so hard for you to source a proper vegetarian meal in Australia (and rest of the world) for your vegetarian passengers;
when Singapore Airlines and Malaysian Airlines (from personal experience) and even your closest competitor/ rival Virgin manage to provide excellent vegetarian meals?

The breakfast for a vegetarian was appalling in the recent Qantas link flight - Carins (CNS) to Port Moresby(POM).

The vegetarians got
A tiny small apple, 2 small pieces of wheatbix with a 150 ml carton of milk, a quinoa muffin, and a 100 ml of orange juice.  Well you would say it sounds ok.
But trust me it was not filling at all.

And what did the "non vegetarians" get ?
A roll with some meat and veggies, a small snack pack of apricots, a cheese and bikkie,  a tub of yoghurt, juice, milk, i guess i also saw a chocolate bar and a few other things as well.

Now how hard is it to source a tub of yoghurt that does not contain gelatin?
How hard is it to source a proper roll with veggies in it?
How hard is it to source cheese made with non-animal rennet ?
(Even Coles and Woolies home brands make cheese with non-animal rennet - not hard at all !)
How hard is it to throw in a small pack of dried apricots and some biscuits
and some gelatin free-yoghurt as well for a vegetarian?
And hey vegetarians also love chocolates you know...!

The vegetarian snack box on the afternoon Qantas Link flight (POM to CNS) was 1/2 the size of the snack box provided to the "non vegetarians".
And yes, that box had many more things in it - while the vegetarians got the usual cucumber wrap with a quinoa muffin. ..Appallingly small in quantity and number of items.

What is wrong with you Qantas?

Two years ago my husband went hungry on a long haul flight from New York to LA - LA to Sydney , and Sydney to brisbane- 36 hours from door to door and he went starving on Qantas flights.
All he got was an  
"oops there is no vegetarian meal ordered for you..., here bite on an apple and be silent..."
The tickets were booked 5 months in advance, meal requests were made and qantas was reminded three days before the flight and yet one starves....

And not even an apology.
Just a phone call from a lady who kept saying I understand and parrotted a disclaimer "...ah you know special meals cannot always be guaranteed..."
Well how come Singapore airlines and Jet Airways never goof up a vegetarian meal request?

Qantas here is a question for you...
What will you tell Paul McCartney or Stella McCartney if you screw up a meal request of theirs...?
You maybe the spirit of Australia - but you starve vegetarian passengers while the others are well looked after.  And yes, we pay the same fare for the same seats ...!

Airlines need to learn from SINGAPORE AIRLINES and from JET AIRWAYS
on how and what to serve vegetarian passengers especially on long haul flights.
Both the airlines serve fantastic vegetarian food even on short flights of 4 hour duration..

And Qantas - your troubles started the day you starved my husband for over 36 hours....in 2009

Well, you have not changed in 2 years;
Get your act together and learn from other airlines.

Contact me - I will put together a few menu options for you that will please any vegetarian.
And dont give me this "ah its hard to source vegetarian food in Aus...and other parts of the world.."
If Singapore Airlines can do it - so can you...
If Jet Airways can do it - so can you....

Meanwhile Sir Paul and Stella McCartney - Please avoid flying Qantas
And a suggestion for you Sir Paul and Stella;
Fly Singapore Airlines from London to Aus and YOU WILL BE FINE. 
Fly Jet Airways from Brussels to India or Brussels to NYC...
you will love the flight....just for the food.

And finally, Sir Paul and Stella; if you have no option but to fly Qantas to Aus :
Do please pack enough food for yourself and
Please do remember to ask around and share with other unlucky vegetarians....!!!

Mountains of paper...

How does one create mountains of paper...?
I am amazed at the amount of paper one has and creates every day...

There are only two major categories of paper.

the ones that say "you owe us money for services rendered or good consumed"
the others that confirm your possessions
The possessions are
the house, the car, the electrical appliances.

And then there is the third category that creeps up - its papers about you, the person
Stuff like life insurance, Super Annuation, medical insurance, eye prescription, dental records, Xrays, Bank statements, credit card statements etc..oh and yes I forgot the mountains of paper needed for the Income Tax office....!!!
Oh and yes, all certificates of Acdemic study and paper work that concerns one's career and all jobs one has done all these years.
Not to mention Deed polls for change of name, passports, dual passports, other cards related to origins or citizenship, membership cards to various clubs/associations...

The bills include - Telephone, Gas, Electricty, Internet, VOIP plans, Water, Quarterly rates payable to local coucil.  The bills for usage of toll roads.  Bills from the doctor's offices for procedures/ medicines/ pathology not covered by medicare or private health insurance.

With just these three categories why does one have Soooooooooooooooo many mountains of paper...?

Oops I forgot all the junk mail that comes every day in the mail box - I love those mails - tells me whats available in the market and whats on sale - must say I have managed to buy a few things on saleby simple careful perusal of the junk mail..(i sometimes have to hide them from the husband)...but I also use up these as liners for the veggie beds...,they serve as good mulch if they are not glossy paper...


I am told in Australia one has to keep every paper/ bill for seven years before it can be destroyed.  In seven years I will probably need a separate room just to store these papers.

Strangely while I safeguard all these papers and yell and scream when I cant find some paper - I never stop to wonder - what if there were no papers at all...? 
What sort of problems can one have because of loss of some paper?
How do I prove my identity?

Most important question - do I even exist without all these papers...?
Perhaps these papers all prove one's presence and existence on earth...eh?
Is that why we hang to all this and more and create more and more mountains of paper...?

The living end

This is from Inside Story - an online journal that I read regularly.
This particular article is one of those blunt narratives that make you stop and think...

http://inside.org.au/the-living-end/

..And then one wonders about the fraility of human life;
The oft confronting fact of one's own mortality and that of loved ones...

As the aurthor says in the end...
"... its often hard to die in peace"

..robbers of the soul...

" i have to lock up the house ..."
Why?
"...to protect myself and my family and all our precious possessions from robbers and miscreants."

We all lock up the house every night..
we lock up whenever we go out
to protect the house, the contents in it...
the precious things gathered and collected over time
the special music collections, the books, the paintings, sculptures
electronic devices, dvds, crockery,jewellery, silverware...

and what about locking ourselves and protecting ourselves from whatever we fear will be robbed from us...?
No- I am not talking jewellery that is on one's person
or clothes for that matter..

What about protecting oneself from robbers of the soul?

Is that why we all have an inbuilt mechanism (also called instinct) by which we shun the company of some and crave the company of others...?

...a simple life....

The pleasures of being simple...and leading a life on my own terms...

Ever so often, i think on the lines of "what have i achieved in life".
we all think this sometime or the other.
fact is; we dont have to acheive ANYTHING to have led a fulfilling life.
my grandfather was a classic example. my grandmother was very very dominating.
She would rule the house with an iron fist. No one dared to do anything that did not meet with her approval.

thatha would not and could not do anything about it.
also, he worked and retired as a bench clerk in the high court of madras.
thats all - it was not an eventful life in any sense of the word.
he went about his work, no big deal, came home, took care of the kids, never raised his voice, never scolded or chided his children (later on never chided his grand children)
Simple life, simple pleasures of eating, work, listening to music and cricket commentary on the radio.

My sister and i stand today in complete gratitude for all the values he instilled in us.
it was the GREATEST LEGACY he could have ever left us...and thats one LEGACY that will always be with us, whether we are rich or poor materially. so, even if the world thinks that his was a simple ordinary life - WE KNOW HOW EXTRAORDINARY HE WAS FOR US.

I will always remember the hot bournvita/ horlicks that he would lovingly make for us and give us in the evening when we came home from school. He would also make dosai for us. While we chattered on and on about what happened in school etc.

I guess the values that we instill in the children today are something that will stand with them throughout their lives. AND THERE LIES my USELFULNESS and YOURs.

"They also leave rich legacies - those that dont leave any money or assets for their children."

YOU may not think you are making a difference to the world...but, in your own way, you are making a world of difference to those that cross your path and those that live in close proximity to you. ...

The tuvar dal takes priority....

How life's priorities change...

All one cares about is the availability of tuvar dal or the availability of ajwain and kasuri methi...
life gets redefined based on what is available around one - more of what is available that one can eat.

Myer's winter colletion or the David Jones' Spring collection have no meaning here.its the same 30 degree heat every day, all through the year. Somedays you do not see or feel the humidity and on other days, its absolutely steamy. So, perhaps the fashion industry makes sense only for places where there are distinct four seasons. Not for a place where its hot hotter and hottest...or for Alaska, where it is cold colder and coldest. There is only so much one can improvise on the basic shorts and t shirts. maybe a different version of a spaghetti strapped top every year, but hey, its only two straps or a strapless creation...thats pretty much it.

We went to a local market two months ago, but very late and there was hardly anything left.
But I am pleased that i was able to buy pitpit, a local vegetable that is a favourite with children here. Must say I liked the taste of it when i cooked it with onion, garlic, red chillies and some spicy home made curry powder(i cant beleive I am using the phrase curry powder, its such a misnomer because there are a million types of powders that one uses to make tasty food.).

Its one of life's most beautiful challenges that I enjoy - making food from locally available veggies. What a voyage of discovery that is. I have been cooking with the local banana and banana stem ....and have surprised many PNG nationals...who had no idea one can eat the banana stem..

Anyway, coming back to priorities....its a treasure hunt every time I go to the shop these days..always wondering what I will find on the shelves...whats new, and what stocks are low on the shelves...for a long while my mind was focussed on how to make good idly with the jamine rice that is available here. I am told that the jasmine rice is too glutinous and the idly would be absolutely appalling in taste and texture...therefore, I was on a hunt to find long grain rice, found a packet, they call it "easy cook rice.." made idly...hmmm pretty bad...
then consulted a lady who has been here for many years....
she gave me some ideas and i must say - the idly was not bad at all
not the best but hey who is complaining as long as its soft and nice to eat :)

I might also try making idly with the brown rice that is not glutinous..will probably end up making some super duper highly nutricious idly in the process. fingers crossed....

Anyway, the update is there is no tuvar dal anywhere in PNG at the moment...
I am lucky, i have stock for another 4 months
thanks to someone who went to Melbourne and managed to carry three kilos for me.
The wholesaler who brings in tuvar dal rations it - he sells only one kilo per family - fair enough; there is enough for all - Life's great leveller i suppose..

Such is life...the priority is around the stocks of tuvar dal and the quality of idly...:)